Yeah, well, I'm going through that today.
But before anyone starts thinking I'm going to reenact Columbine, this decision is aimed at humanity as a whole, not anyone in particular.
Hmm... I don't know if that helped my case any. Maybe I'll just let it drop now.
Essentially, last Sunday, she had this sudden jump in her blood pressure, and she went to the emergency room (since it was Sunday and no other doctor would be open) to get it checked up on.
The orignal plan was that she'd only be in there a day or two, since they thought it wasn't anything too serious and that they'd diagnose it relatively quickly.
However, over the past week or so, they checked everything - her pancreas, her kidneys, her heart; you name it, they shoved a tube up it and checked it out. Suffice it to say, it wasn't at all fun for her, and the fact that she was drugged up with everything but the kitchen sink the whole week to keep down the pain didn't help her state of mind too much.
But, in any case, I never thought of mentioning anything here, because I kept thinking it'd just be "one more day", no big deal.
Which, subsequently, has led me to start rethinking my mentality.
It is said, that if you drop a frog in a pot of boiling water, it'll immediately jump out. But if you stick it in a pot of cold water, and then start boiling it, so that the temperature increases slowly, it'll eventually be boiled to death, totally passive to its surroundings.
I'm beginning to see that I am that frog, only, perhaps, in reverse.
My surroundings are boiling right now. I don't know how to explain it, exactly, but I feel as though they are, and I'm instinctively dying to jump out.
However, some how, I feel as though I can't until things have cooled off entirely. Life keeps handing me little bits and pieces, letting me know that the temperature has dropped a few notches, but that just doesn't seem to be enough for me. I'm waiting for life to write on my forehead with a broad, black, permanent-ink marker "THE WATER IS PRACTICALLY FREEZING, JUMP OUT OF THE POT, FUCKTARD, AND GRAB THE ENTIRE KITCHEN BY THE BALLS."
... and yet, here I am, waiting until I'm absolutely certain that the water is nice and balmy, while I'm being boiled alive...