Part I: Anger
1. Who did you last get angry with?
My self.
2. What is your weapon of choice?
Cardboard Tube. Its awesome power must not be underestimated. Unfortunately, it’s broken and gone, so I’ll need a new one.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
Playfully? Yes. Un-playfully? To be honest, I’ve had a run-in or two with my sister (sibling rivalry in its most primitive form), although it was never anything serious, and while she’d come out without a scratch, I’d come out with several (girl’s nails aren’t fun).
4. How about of the same sex?
If I can help it, I’ll avoid it, but I will if its called for.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
Without a doubt, my father, although he’s been easing off a bit lately, which is good.
6. What is your pet peeve?
Seeing my plans fail, probably. People who assault me, verbally or otherwise, for no apparent reason. Actually, I’m not easily peeved.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
Not really. I’ll overlook most little things, and, while big things will piss me off for a while, I usually get over them after a while.
Part II: Sloth
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?
I promised myself I’d wake up early to go for a half-hour jog daily on a treadmill we keep in our basement, but I fail at waking up in the morning.
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
2:00 PM, I think, after going to bed after Senior Prom at 6:00 AM. I usually can’t stand to sleep in that late, though, although that never stops me from having a nap later in the day.
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't:
Anyone who might have fallen in this category shall stay un-contacted.
4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
The last lame excuse? As in, the one I last made? See the last question, I suppose.
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)?
God, yes, and I feel so pathetic when it’s done. I mean, they made that Chicken Rotisserie Maker look absolutely awesome, and that dust-grabber thingie for ceilings looks cool, but I have absolutely no use for either. On the plus side, I haven’t done this since I removed the TV from my room, which happened over two years ago.
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?
Last week; half hour jog, followed by sit-ups and push-ups. I really ought to do that more often.
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
Lemme put it this way: I set my alarm clock for 4:00 AM. Snooze gives me ten minutes each time I push it. I don’t get out of bed until 6:30. You do the math.
Part III: Gluttony
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
”Eight Shots of Espresso Con Panna, Heavy on the Cream.” Falls conveniently under $5, which is ridiculously overpriced. Mmmm, but it delivers caffeine straight to my system like nothing else can.
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?
When it comes to chicken, white meat, I’m not big on dark meat on chicken. However, I’ll almost always opt for red meat. You know what’s really good, though? Ostrich. I’ve only had it once, but it combines the best elements of beef and chicken into one savory dish.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
I’m really not one to drink. I got drunk once in the safe company of adults (40-somethings), and I didn’t really have that much.
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
Nope.
5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
Not really, but I could probably stand to lose a few pounds. I won’t kill myself for it, though.
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
I will eat Wasabi straight up (gee, the gangster life is the life for me...). Tabasco is a constant companion of mine (it even tastes good in coffee!). Red Pepper goes good with anything with tomatoes (spaghetti, pizza, etc.). Long story short, spicy food, all the way.
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH"?
I thought really, really hard about this question, and I can safely say that I’ve never had any desire to consume pets or small children. However, that’s not to say I haven’t looked at what they’re eating (mmm, doggy biscuits) and thought about giving them a try...
Part IV: Lust
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?
Enough. That’s not to say too many or too few; rather, that means it exactly what it says. I’ve seen enough people naked.
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?
See above answer. Enough people have seen me naked.
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?
I’m not sure exactly what this question is asking. Is the emphasis placed on “your gender” or “your gender of choice” (i.e., the one you’d prefer to stare at)? If it’s gender of choice, yes, although I typically consider it to be rather rude and stop myself the moment I catch myself (which occurs rather frequently). If the question is referring to my gender... I honestly can’t remember doing so, but I’ve done it before.
4. Have you "done it"?
“Done it”? Was the maker of this survey five years old? No, I have not had sex.
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
On females: eyes. They’re awfully fun to swim in. I suppose there are other things which could be swam in as well... You know, like hair.
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
No. One time in the Philippines, though, a pimp approached my father right in front of my eyes. (Caucasians there stick out like sore thumbs, and are always assumed to be rich, and are often assumed to be horny.) The pimp told my father, in rather broken English, with a rather obvious nudge and wink (and I quote): “Hey, Mister. Do you like... ice cream?” Like any good pimp, he probably named all of his prostitutes after various kinds of desert, I’m sure.
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?
No, and no. Oh wait, I tested myself for pregnancy just last week. I’m so worried I’m going to have to give birth, you know, and have a child spend nine months within my own uterus. Oh wait, I don’t have one. Fooey.
Part V: Greed
1. How many credit cards do you own?
None, as I don’t have money.
2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
Not exactly a store, but I enjoy Ebay. Every so often, I’ll get bored, think of a totally random item that I might have the slightest use for (DeLoreans, Capes, AirSoft Guns, Katanas, Tai Chi Swords, VW Buses, Digital Cameras, Nikon FM2’s, et cetera, et cetera)...
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
Pay of the taxes upfront, like any good citizen would... then invest it (carefully) until it reached an appreciable sum, then stick it in the back and live comfortably (but not too comfortably) off of the interest.
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
Famous, anyday, even if it meant being penniless. Of course, being rich helps you become famous...
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
Never. I’d rather earn less at a job I love than more at a job I can’t stand.
6. Have you ever stolen anything?
As some may know, in my youth, I had a bit of a stealing phase, which I have since grown out of. Stealing... is wrong. Granted, it’s a bit exhilarating (and it’s always nice to be able to keep what you get), but it isn’t worth the guilt you feel afterwards. I don’t plan on doing it again.
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
Ten Gigs worth, you do the math.
Part VI: Pride
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of?
I’ve lasted this long, which is no easy feat. I’ve pulled off a couple of Model UN awards here and there, and I was a semi-finalist for the Penn Governor’s School of the Arts. Still, I’ve never done anything truly great... Jack of All Trades, Master of None.
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
My parents were never the type to get overly proud of any of my accomplishments, and they’re quick to forget any of my accomplishments the moment I fail at something. Ah well.
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?
I’d love to get into politics, preferably on a large scale, but even on a more local level would be kind of nice...
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
Of course. Not overly annoyed, but annoyed. So close, yet so far...
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
No, because I can admit to myself that I’m really not that skillful. I’ll enter contests with those I’m about on par with, and those which I’m really unskilled at, just to see how close I can get.
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
Yes, and I’m almost always caught, unfortunately. Subsequently, I don’t attempt to do so nearly as often as I once did, but I suppose it’s inevitable that I will again.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
I’m feeling relatively open today, more so than usual, which is good. I have a tendency of closing myself off on the important things, which I suppose I ought to do less.
Part VII: Envy
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
I must admit, I would really, really like a car right now, and the fact that I’m totally lacking one is not helping. Both Erik and Ericson have rather hot cars.
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces".
Unfortunately, I’m not too familiar with the show. Someone explain it to me, and I might come back and edit this later.
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
I may want what other people have for myself, but I would never want to be anyone else, as utterly imperfect as I am.
4. Have you ever been cheated on?
Fortunately, no.
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
Can anyone honestly say that they haven’t?
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
The ability to dive into things or make decisions without excessive fear or worry of the potential consequences. A stronger will.
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey?
Um, no.
Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?
Lust is kinda nice, but I suppose I’m more of a Sloth.
Part I: Faith
1. What religion do you follow?
I am a devout agnostic, if such a thing exists. I can’t stand to commit myself to any given ideology.
2. What religion were you raised as?
Baptized as a Roman Catholic, dabbled with Central Baptism and various protestant sects, mainly because my mother dragged me off to everything she dabbled in until I put my foot down on religion.
3. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property?
To err is human, to forgive, divine, to quote Alexander Pope. That doesn’t mean you have to be religious to be able to forgive, though.
4. Do you believe in magic?
And I hope you do! You always have a friend wearing big read shoes...
Honestly? Yeah, I’m open to stuff like that. Not eye of toad and tail of newt magic, but, rather, focused energy of sorts kind of magic.
5. What was the last promise you broke?
Apparently, this Freshman thought I promised him a position in the Anime Club, even though I’m sure I didn’t actually promise him. I break more promises than I’d like to, and, subsequently, I’m trying to make less of them in the first place.
6. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not meant it?
No, never. In fact, this is one principle that I stand very firmly behind. I might visit someone’s Church, but I will never sing a hymn or say a prayer unless I have faith in the words behind it. I was surrounded by hypocritical church goers in my youth, and I now believe that it is, by far, much more disrespectful to say holy words you don’t believe in than it is to say them to avoid looking rude to those around you (who do believe in it).
7. Do you believe that anyone could be perfect?
Subjectively, as in, according to my own views? Yes. Objectively? No, but they can come pretty damn close.
Part II: Hope
1. Did you get everything you wanted over the last holiday season?
Not at all. In fact, I didn’t get too much at all. Not that I’m complaining, I wasn’t really expecting much in the first place.
2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for?
Cash, love, but, above all else, power. This definitely makes me your standard, egotistical male.
3. Do you let yourself get your hopes up for something even if you know that there is a large chance of failure?
Too often.
4. Do you believe in magic?
No, in fact, my answer has changed 180 degrees since it was last asked earlier in this survey. Oi vey.
5. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket?
No.
6. Do you gamble?
For money? No. For services/favors? On occasion.
7. Have you ever had something called off on account of bad weather, but then gone ahead and done it anyway?
I love bad weather. Dark, stormy – it’s all good.
Part III: Charity
1. What causes do you support?
Amnesty international. World peace (achieved through multilateral agreements and negotiation, not through unilateral action. Unilateral action is never long-lasting)... I dunno.
2. What causes have you given money or time to?
I’ve given money to Hari Krishna’s, and I’d probably give money to others if I had it.
3. Have you ever worked in a soup kitchen or done another kind of outreach for the homeless?
No. I wouldn’t mind, but I’ve never had the opportunity to do so.
4. Would you ever consider joining the Peace Corps, Amnesty International, or another travel-inherent worldwide charity group?
God, I’d so love to, but my parents would hate me for it.
5. Do you give money to the homeless on the street?
Occasionally.
6. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like rent or food?
When I can spare it.
7. What's the greatest extent you've gone to help a friend in need?
I don’t know, I’ve done all sorts of little things for people I don’t know too well here and there. I’ve slept on floors and sacrificed underwear, I walked outside in the middle of the night in the middle of a snowstorm during an Anime Trip to pick up medicine for someone sick. I’ve walked several miles to meet people without cars in an emergency. I’ve lied to parents and authorities, I’ve lost days of sleep. I’ve gone to Churches whose beliefs I don’t believe in myself, I’ve taken physical and verbal blows, I’ve put up with people who I’d rather not put up with. I’ve done all sorts of things, for people who have meant the world to me and for people who have meant absolutely nothing, and I couldn’t be happier.
Part IV: Fortitude
1. What are you most afraid of?
Of growing up, only to lead a meaningless and forgettable life.
2. What did you do today that was really brave?
I’m hardly brave. I opened up.
3. Who is your favorite superhero, and why?
Neil Gaiman’s Sandman. He’s not exactly a superhero per se, but he’s pretty damn close. Plus, he introduced me to the brilliant genius that is Neil Gaiman.
4. Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone?
It’s very easy for me to say yes outside of the context of such a situation, but, in all honesty, I suppose I’ll never really know until I’m in such a scenario. Unlike Erik, I was willing to risk a beating from an angry drunk man in order to save Phyllis, which was not so much a person as a cause. Granted, it’s hardly a serious scenario, but I do know from experience that I tend to act like I’m invincible... so, yeah, I’d probably risk my life to rescue someone, on the basic assumption that I’d come out absolutely fine.
5. If you were to face the Wizard, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart?
6. Have you ever gotten stage fright? If so, when?
Opening night, I will always be nervous as hell. Second night, I will usually be excessively cocky. Subsequent nights, I’ll find myself falling anywhere in between.
7. Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower?
Depends on the situation.
Part V: Justice
1. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty?
Nope, but I’m under 18, which would probably explain it.
2. If they reinstituted the draft (for both genders), would you go, or would find some way out of it?
Although I rarely support the reasons for war, if drafted, I would go. I don’t think it’s good to die for one’s country, nor am I overly patriotic. However, going off to war is one of those experiences that builds character like nothing else can, and, quite frankly, opens opportunities (namely, political ones, one of my aforementioned goals) that could prove useful. I hate to cop out like this, but I must admit that I’d go for rather selfish reasons.
3. Do you support capital punishment (the death penalty)?
I’m rather torn on this. Europe seems to get by just fine without it; why can’t we?
4. Do you believe that Dubya is rightfully President of the USA?
Gore got the popular majority.
5. What was your favorite media circus trial?
I’m not a big fan of the media circus. The Clinton scandal was rather memorable, though.
6. Have you ever written a letter to a politician?
Local (i.e., township level) ones, yes.
7. There is no seventh question here...
Well, Kal-a-ma-fucking-zoo.
Part VI: Temperence
1. What do you have the hardest time moderating yourself on?
Dumb. Genius. I am a walking set of opposite extremes; I can’t moderate myself on anything, and I’ve given up on trying, for the most part.
2. Do you collect anything?
Not really. I have little things I get obsessed on which I get really into and I start to collect, but I lose interest before I can really get into it. Although, come to think of it, I sort of have a collection of trenchcoats. I have a natural affinity for anything long and flowy (trenchcoats, capes, bathrobes, etc.)
3. Are you addicted to anything?
Caffeine. Duh.
4. Have you ever put anything on layaway or used an installment plan?
No.
5. What's your preferred method of paying for things?
With a Credit Card, via an online source.
6. Tell us one thing you wish you hadn't let yourself do:
groan...
7. Do you feel that you obsess over things?
Occasionally, yes.
Part VII: Prudence
1. Who is the wisest person you know?
I usually prefer to stick to my own intuition, and I don’t often seek the wisdom of others. When I do, though, I’ll seek wisdom from everyone I can contact, not just any one wise(wo)man.
2. Have you ever participated in a vigil?
Don’t think so.
3. Do you take advice when it's given?
I definitely consider it, but I always make the finest call.
4. What area are you wisest in?
History, I suppose, though that’s a stretch. I like to think I have good common sense, something which many brilliant people (my father, for instance) lack completely.
5. Do you drive defensively?
If I drove, I probably would.
6. Have you ever had unprotected sex outside of marriage?
Nope.
7. What did you learn today?
That it’s very easy to waste hours on these damn things.
And of course, what is your favorite heavenly virtue?
Patience, patience, and always, patience.