Before I even open them, I know, deep down inside, that they are advertisements for porn web-sites.
Yet, because the e-mails are not titled "Would you like to see my pussy?", "Watch me fuck like a dog!" or "Go to www.hotphotocopiedasses.com for some hot ass!", there is, somewhere within me, a glimmer of hope.
Maybe this "Jenny" is that Jenny who I met and was friendly with on a Model UN trip. Maybe "Natasha" was the girl who stood behind me in the elevator at Katsucon and stroked my hair, and she got my e-mail through the Katsucon registration list. Maybe "Mary" is some total stranger who I'll start talking to, fall in love with, and eventually marry and have 2.5 kids with in Suburbia, USA, in a house with a dog and a white picket fence.
And so, I open these e-mails, fully aware, subconsciously, of what I am about to open.
And yet, somehow, I am still disappointed when I find out that the e-mails are, indeed, only porn.
And so, I delete them, disheartened, only to open the next three e-mails from "Veronica", "Samantha", or "Beth", with high hopes once more.
My. I am so pathetic.